By Michael Luke

            Fantaseryes have caught on in our TV sets for a long time. They have been extremely popular because they appeal to both children and adults. Both Kapamilya and Kapuso networks have at least one fantaserye in their primetime lineup. There are too many shows of its kind that the writers are just basically using the same concepts when making them.

            Here are some of the things that make a typical Pinoy fantaserye.

·         The hero/heroine was a poor victim of his/her circumstances.

·         He/she was chosen by fate to acquire supernatural powers because of his/her pure heart.

·         He/she becomes excited to try out these newly acquired supernatural powers and tries them out for fun.

·         He/she always kicks ass in the first few battles with the bad guys.

·         Our hero/heroine encounters a dilemma – how to hide his/her secret identity.

·         A close friend discovers this secret identity and confronts the main character about it.

·         The close friend agrees to be the sidekick.

·         That sidekick is usually useless as he/she always needs to be saved by the hero/heroine.

·         The main character has a love interest. The love interest is a person who is usually from a far different background.

·         The love interest doesn’t recognize the main character at first.

·         The love interest suddenly falls in love with the main character’s alter ego.

·         The main character is in a dilemma that asks – “Should I reveal myself to him/her?”

·         Instead of answering the previous question, the hero/heroine decides to give up his/her powers in order to be closer to his/her love interest.

·         Chaos happens, and the hero/heroine is forced to get back his/her powers.

·         The main enemy is usually a former childhood best friend, sibling, or even a parent.

·         The main enemy is a good person, but cruel circumstances somehow forced him/her to be bad. The motive is revenge.

·         These shows are often based on old fantasy movies, foreign shows, and comics.

·         The villains try to take advantage of the hero’s/heroine’s weakness by attacking his/her loved ones.

·         The bad guys keep on shooting the hero/heroine even though they know that the previous millions of bullets didn’t work.

·         The hero/heroine talks about saving the world, but he/she only saves the local city.

·         The villains talk about destroying the world, but they only attack the local city where the hero/heroine is.

·         The only difference between the main character and his/her alter ego is the costume. They body structure, facial structure, and the voice are the same, yet the people closest to them can’t recognize them.

 

Basically,

                                      The Filipino Machete        

             

                                              VS.

                                          The Mexican Machete

                                

Undeniably, the high-octane level of douchebaginess is inexplicably present in the first Machete image. With its golden font that shouts out Machete is gay, Aljur Abrenica stands as if he’s wearing nothing below that mantle on his waist while staring at young girls. He shows off his weapons of choice, his “pecs” and shadowed abs.

On the other hand, Danny Trejo stands as if he’s on a mission to eradicate the douchebags of the world, e.g. this guy underneath, and put them in their place.

        and this… 

Apart from the name of their characters and long black hair, they have nothing more in common. Instead of showing off his bare chest, he immediately reveals before our very eyes with no pretention whatsoever his weapon of choice, blades and wicked machetes!

Danny Trejo will immediately hack away at Aljur who is too busy posing for his 12 year old fans at any given time.  At this black and white time…

                                      

                                               where are you, Aljur?

Or at this moment of pure joy in Mr. Trejo’s face

                                       

 Pure Joy after mincing someone to molecular size with his machete, preferably Aljur.

 

With no biases or what… the better machete is no doubt Mr. Danny Trejo. We wonder if Mr. Abrenica dreams of having a more badass Machete role than what he got from GMA7?

Something like this?

                                      

                                     Machete, starting January 24 2011!

Not in anyway affiliated with either of Machetes - Rod Manden

             A Lamat staff did this a while ago…

Keep your guns holstered and somewhere safe. If you cannot do so…point it to yourself and pull. Thank you.

                   Say cheeeeese!

LAMAT WOULD LIKE TO WISH YOU A PROSPEROUS AND FUN 2011!!!!

By Michael Luke

            As sports fans, there has been a point in our lives in which we have dreamed of becoming an athlete. Whenever we watch Michael Jordan’s dunk, Michael Schumacher’s drive, or Manny Pacquiao’s left hook, we imagine ourselves doing the same things. We also imagine ourselves living their lives. It’s nice to live in a 50 bedroom mansion with 15 cars while earning 20 million dollars a year doing something that we are passionate about. We all know the perks of being a superstar athlete – admiration, money, fame, and power while doing the thing that you love to do. But, before you decide to work your ass off to be the next superstar athlete, here are some of the things that you should consider:

 

5. You have to starve yourself in order to make weight.

            This is especially true for boxers, but it is also applicable to basketball and football players. Some basketball and football players need to lose weight in order to gain speed, which is vital to be competitive in their sport.

  Boxers need to lose weight in order to make weight. In boxing, there are weight divisions, and you need to make a certain weight in order to qualify. Some people brag about losing 20 pounds in 2 months as if they have done the most amazing thing on earth. That’s lame, because some boxers (e.g. Ricky Hatton) try to lose as much as 50 pounds in 8 weeks in order to make their division weight.

From this - 

To this -

In 8 weeks!

But wait, some athletes don’t need to starve. In fact, Manny Pacquiao, since moving to 147 pounds, has been eating a lot.

Which leads us to the next problem…

4. You have to eat too much so that you wouldn’t lose weight.

            This is the other side of the weight problem. Some athletes have to starve themselves to make weight. On the other hand, some athletes have to eat a lot so that they wouldn’t lose weight. Manny Pacquaio, as mentioned before, has to eat around 7,000 calories a day during training so that he wouldn’t lose weight.

            It is nice to eat a lot. But imagine eating the same huge amount of food everyday for 2 months. Not just the same amount, but also the same food. Yep, you read that right. Manny Pacquiao eats the same food (tinola, bulalo, adobo, pakbet, and ampalaya) everyday during training. He needs to do this because he doesn’t want to disrupt his conditioning, so he has to take the foods that his body is accustomed to.

            The best example for this problem is Michael Phelps, the decorated swimmer who won eight gold medals during the Beijing 2008 Olympics. He has to eat around 12,000 calories a day to avoid losing weight.

This is what a 12,000 calorie diet looks like.

This is what Phelps eats for breakfast everyday:

Can you still swim after eating this?

            I like eating. I thought I was already a big eater. But after seeing this and imagining eating this every day, I suddenly lost appetite. Imagine eating this shit everyday for several weeks.

 

3. Ridiculous amount of training

            Aside from eating too little (or too much), athletes also need to train rigorously. This is often the case for superstars. To be the best, you have to work harder than anybody else. Superstars are not only blessed with natural talent, they also had to train and work much harder than their peers.

            Michael Jordan is the first to arrive at the gym and the last to leave the gym. He shoots 1,000 shots a day. Michael Phelps swims for seven hours a day. Michael Schumacher test drives the car until night time and analyzes car data with his engineers until midnight.

            Manny Pacquiao, the Filipino Pride, is renowned for his work ethics. He wakes up at around 5 A.M. for his daily run. After an hour of running (not jogging), he has to do 2,500 crunches. He eats breakfast, then he sleeps for a while. He goes to the gym at 1 P.M. for shadow boxing, punching bag, mitts, sparring, and drills. And then he does this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW_qvV7uKn4

ARAY KO, GALING KO!

You want to have this body?

10 cups of rice + one bowl of tinola + 10 bottles of VitWater + 2500 crunches – Now you know!

 

If you want to be like Manny, you gotta train like Manny. Now you know!

 

2. You don’t have privacy anymore.

            Being a superstar means you are insanely popular. That is why you are not just a star, but a SUPERstar, duh! The result of that fame means the media is watching you 24/7. You are under the microscope. Every little thing you do is reported on the newspapers, on TV, and your favorite, the Internet.    It means that you have to control your urges, or else you will be caught in the act. You can’t do the things that you normally do anymore like:

This is how Phelps gets his appetite to eat 12,000 calories a day.

 

            You also have to be careful with the people you are with, such as mistresses. Or else…

That’s what happens when you just do it, Tiger.

1.      Screw up once, and people will hate you for the rest of their lives.

Do I need to say more about this? Look at what happened to LeBron James after “The Decision”

LeQuit, LeChoke, LeBum. Just add something after the prefix ‘Le’

Wait, it is not just that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWsjD-VSrmM

 

And who can forget this…

That’s why LeBron James doesn’t know what to do anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdtejCR413c&feature=related

 

Oh wait! He already got some answers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvgD9HNTMkM

 

We at LamatFiles support your dream of becoming a superstar athlete. Just don’t screw up. 

By Rod Manden

 

News programs in general are full of serious uhh news. From politics to sports to entertainment news, you’d usually see newscasters wearing their gamefaces all throughout the hour or so.

 

 
Not this gameface.

 

 

 

 

     This one…yeah we’ll just pick this one…

Here in the Philippines we have great newscasters, no doubt about it. Newscasters and reporters from two giant networks battle it out for the most credible, best news delivery and most unbiased broadcasts of facts. Let’s just say they take their jobs as serious as possible. And rarely would we see things that will crack us up or just doubt the person in action. Things like….

 

1. Phoemela Baranda and the attack of the phlegm from hell

 

Phoemela Baranda has such a sultry and classy look that you’d listen to anything she says. She is a model-turned-actress-turned-showbiz correspondent for The Buzz and TV Patrol.

 

Phoemela at work. That’s a great pair of news.

 

 

She’s a straight 10….if it weren’t for this:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-FEOvouCv0

 

On one of her segments as TV Patrol showbiz reporter, her trachea clogged up. At 0:07 the phlegm from the deepest bottom of her lungs races up towards freedom. But PHLEGMELA BARANDA will not just sit there and let the demonic mucus ruin her segment. She resisted the urge to throw it all up and proceeded to the story which we do not really care about. Stay classy Phlegm. I mean Phoem.

2. Mike Enriquez being Mike Enriquez

 Mike Enriquez must be the most famous male newscaster for the past decade. It might be for his robotic voice or his unique look.

 

 

 

That’s him….on the right.

 

Either way he is a staple when it comes to primetime news. He is also very much infamous for his line “Excuse Me Po”. He’s delivered this so many times that it’s not so funny anymore, which is why you will not find that on this list. In its stead we found this:

 

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmQ-ejmIJnw&feature=related

 

      If you manage to figure out what he says at 0:02, please let the people at LamatFiles know.

 

      One of 24’s taglines is “Dahil hindi natutulog ang balita…”. Now we know the effect of sleepless nights on newscasters. And he admits he does need sleep after all. He’s not as robotic as he made us all believe him to be.

 

      I’m sure Mel Tiangco has all the fun while doing the news with Mike.

      Now watch the video again for another laugh.

 

3. Karen Davila knocked out by Aling Dionisia.

One of the last newscasters you’d ever expect to find in this kind of article, but you’re wrong, she is here. Ms. Karen Davila has paved her way to being one of the most respected female newscasters in the land.

 

          I do respect her hotness.

 

From her days in the Kapuso network to the Kapamilya premises, she has grown better and she deserves it. But that alone will not save her from embarrassment such as this:

 

                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfLVIHe5c4o

 

In fairness to Karen, everything about the Pacquiao family has been confusing and muddling our senses for the longest time. There’s Manny, Jinkee, Bobby “blow blow” and of course, who’d forget Aling Dionisia? We hoped we could, but you know….it’s hard.

 

 

     See what I mean? That’s Pac Mom for you.

Ms. Davila made use of all her news casting skills to straighten the story, but the baffling force of the Pacquiaos is just too much, I guess. This, however, will go down as one of the funniest moments of Karen Davila in TV Patrol… oh wait she’s not in that program anymore.

 

          Thanks to her.

 

4. Michael Fajatin is in twilight zone

  Michael Fajatin, the humble reporter of GMA-7, has caused some havoc in Youtube during the first quarter of 2010 for his wacky antics. This is one of them.

 

                 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4XnAD5HgdI

 

At first glance, he looks like a man not to mess with. When misfortune strikes, he….cheats his way through by taking a shortcut?  That’s right. He completely forgot where he was that time even though it was clearly written on the monitor that he was in Trece Martires, Cavite. What happened that time? None of us living right now knows.

What happened to Mr. Fajatin? Nobody knows. Is Mr. Fajatin sleepy as hell? Or was he so badass that he did not give a fuck to let others know where he was? I guess nobody cares…But save some of your laughter for his second stint….

5. Michael Fajatin does not give a damn whether you understand or not. A.k.a. Michael Fajatin is in twilight zone Part 2

 

You have probably seen this before but we need to cement this as the funniest news delivery ever:

 

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afKuHVn3c2s&feature=related

 

Mr. Fajatin’s intro to his report is so mind-boggling that we need to transcribe it:

 

“Igan, Pasado alas otso ng tahimik na mag disperse ang mga raliyista sa San Sebastian. Ngunit matapos ang ilang negosasyon.. Ito ay matapos na nag disperse sila.. Pagkatapos nito.. ahhh… hindi na sila nag-away.. nag-away na sila nung simula.. Pagkatapos nito ay nagkaroon sila ng.. ahhh.. pag aaway na sa simula”

 

      That drugged look he has really give out the clue. After watching the clip, we, too, feel that we have also been drugged by extreme dosage of some unknown drug out there. What was he talking about?

 

      Let’s see maybe he was giving out clues: Raliyista in San Sebastian. There was a negotiation and dispersal, then there was a fight. Or was there a fight first before the dispersal? Or before the rally there was a fight? In the beginning there was a fight? Holy Cow! We knew it. This is utter bullshit- nonsense at its best. Nevertheless, Michael Fajatin has gone down in history as the reporter who does not give a shit about the audience. He is the most badass reporter out there.

 

   The look of badassery.

By Michael Luke

Starbucks has been a status symbol for a long time. Somehow, it managed to gain a huge customer base despite its overpriced and overrated coffee (and tea, and juice, and pastries…). The people comprising that customer base can be divided into two – the people who just treat it as a coffee shop (around 20% of the customers) and the people who think it is not just a coffee shop but a “coffee culture” as well (around 80% of the customers). I have no problem with the former. It is the latter whose heads need to be examined. We call them the Starbucks people.

1.      They buy and drink lots of coffee just to get a measly ‘limited edition’ planner.

As we approach the New Year, many Starbucks people are trying to get the annual limited edition 2011 Starbucks planner.

 

Apparently, for Starbucks, Saturdays and Sundays are not as important as the weekdays.

For Starbucks people, getting the planner is a way to show that you are a true Starbucks person. They like to think of it as a savvy move since they got it for free. By getting a limited Starbucks planner, they project themselves to be savvy.

Except they are not…they forget the fact that they had to buy and drink lots of coffee just to get that damn planner. You see, Starbucks is a business. If they really give free planners, they would lose business. They are able to give those planners because of the money they got from selling overpriced coffee. The customers paid for that planner from earning stickers by purchasing certain items from the menu. If they want a shortcut, a single purchase of merchandise worth 5,000 pesos will automatically earn them the limited edition planner. Five thousand pesos worth of coffee for a planner!  Really savvy!

“But it is limited!”

That’s bullshit and misleading. Coke is also limited. It is limited to how many bottles of Coke they have in the moment. Almost all products are limited, no matter how abundant they are. The question is, “How limited?” Limited to a million? Limited to a thousand? Limited until you collect 17 stickers? Limited until you show 5,000 pesos? They really need that planner to plan not to do the same stupidity next year.

                              

Pictured: Starbucks guy circa January 2011.

 

2.         They can’t finish a cup of coffee in an hour.

Go to a Starbucks coffee shop. You will see a lot of people who have been staying there for the longest time, yet their cups are not even half-empty…

 

…or half-full if you are an optimist

First, if the coffee is really good, why take an hour or so to finish it? Second, coffee is supposed to be consumed while it is hot. If you ordered something hot, it will be cold after an hour. If you ordered something cold, it will be lukewarm after an hour. Lastly, people who are looking for an available table will be mad at you. And the baristas and managers? They are smiling in front of you, but when you turn your back at them, they are also mad at you for staying so long that they can’t get new customers in. They say you go to Starbucks for the relaxing ambiance. I don’t know if I can relax knowing that people are secretly planning to kill me for staying too long because of the ambiance.

 

 

3.      They can’t even finish a cup of coffee in one sitting.

It is common to see Starbucks people walk around the mall or the streets while carrying a Starbucks cup.

 

Are you going to finish that coffee? Or are you just going to carry it all day?

Again, if the coffee is really good, how come they can’t finish it in one sitting? If the serving is too big, why do you have to order that Venti-sized coffee?

Some people show it off as if to say, “I drink Starbucks Coffee.” The real message is: “I have money to buy Starbucks Coffee. Go ahead, rob me!”  Since one hand is carrying the cup of coffee, you only have one hand available. That makes you an easy target for pickpockets.

On the other hand, some Starbucks people carry empty cups. That leads us to…

 

4.      They can’t find a trash can for their Starbucks cup.

They carry their cups all day long even if it is already empty. Some of them try to refill it with water or another coffee. Are they getting paid by Starbucks for advertising their brand? It is really inconvenient to walk all day long carrying something. As normal human beings, we prefer to have both of our hands available.

 

Seriously, there is a trash can just outside the store.

Some of them would say that they are recycling the cup to protect the environment. Fair enough. Do they really have to buy a new cup everyday so that they can put water or coffee after finishing the original contents of the cup? Just get a tumbler. It is cheaper and more convenient.

 

Just don’t get this overpriced tumbler.

5.      Their ‘Coffee Culture’ isn’t really a culture.

Culture, from its Latin roots, means “to cultivate”. The purpose of culture is to make humanity more refined and developed. Starbucks’ ‘Coffee Culture” has done anything but refine humanity.

First, they have a weird language. I still can’t forget this conversation with a barista. This conversation sums up the language of their “Coffee Culture”.

Me: A cup of coffee please.

Barista: What kind of coffee, sir?

Me: Just the cappuccino (pointing at the item on the menu board). That’s it.

Barista: Would you like it to be no caff?

Me: You mean decaf? No, thank you.

Barista: No caff it is then. What size would it be? Tall, grande, or venti?

Me: Huh? I just want the small size.

Barista: (looking dumbfounded)

Me: I would like to have the small size (pointing to the small cup).

Barista: You mean ‘tall’.

Me: I mean ‘small’.

Barista: ‘Tall’ is ‘small’.

Me: Well, that doesn’t look tall to me. But yeah, just give me your smallest size, or whatever you call it.

Barista: Would you like it extra hot?

Me: Extra hot? How do you serve your coffee? I would definitely like my coffee hot. Just don’t serve it to me while it is boiling.

Barista: Would you like extra foam?

Me: No.

Barista: Would you like an extra shot? Double shot? Triple shot?

Me: No.

Barista: How about sugar free hazelnut?

Me: No.

Barista: Extra drizzle?

Me: (Getting annoyed) NO.

Barista: How about our pastries? I recommend the ….

Me: Why are you asking me a lot of questions? I just want a small cup of cappuccino! If I had wanted to order other items and extras, I would have told you in the first place.

 

            People at Starbucks seem to confuse height and size. They have three sizes: tall, grande, and venti. Tall pertains to height, while ‘grande’ (or grand) refers to size. Their smallest size is called ‘Tall’. Again, that is misleading people to think that they have ordered something that is good value for their money.

 

The shortest is called ‘tall’.

It seems that Starbucks has its vocabulary mixed-up. Even if I don’t want to use the word ‘short’, I definitely wouldn’t call the shortest of my friends ‘tall’, but if you follow the language of Starbucks, you can call your 4’11” friend ‘tall’ while calling your 6’1” friend ‘grand’.

 

Hey, what’s up tally?

Second, not only do Starbucks people mix up their language, but they also don’t understand plain English. Every time you say the words ‘small’, ‘medium’, and ‘large’, they act as if you are speaking Latin. Is this the result of their ‘culture’, a loss of comprehension skills?

Third, the ‘culture’ makes everything complicated. Following Occam’s razor, we should try to keep things simple, for they are mostly and logically correct. Starbucks people are bent on doing the exact opposite. They order things like: grande no caff cappuccino with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha; non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam; and grande supremo with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle of you know what, with a little batshit what are we doing here?. Seriously, do you really need to order that meticulously? Can you really tell the difference if we change the serving of the extras, or even remove them altogether? Is there really a significant difference between 0% fat milk, 50% fat milk, and 2% fat milk?

The baristas don’t help either. They ask you a lot of questions with a lot of choices. If you are annoyed every time fast food cashiers ask you for larger Coke and fries, Starbucks baristas are 100 times more annoying. If you order a simple black coffee, they would panic because it doesn’t exist in their world.

Finally, why do Starbucks people need to have a group study in a Starbucks coffee shop? The tables aren’t big enough to hold their books and notebooks. They can’t discuss things properly because of the following:

a.       The other people who are also discussing in the shop.

b.      The relaxing music that makes them sleepy.

c.       They are too busy ‘appreciating’ their coffee.

d.      They are too busy ordering grande no caff cappuccino with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha and a triple shot of espresso.

e.       All of the above.

Has a Starbucks group study session accomplished anything for anyone? I doubt it. Maybe studying in Starbucks has caused them to be overly complicated. Maybe it has caused them to lose their comprehension skills. Maybe it has caused them to mix up their language.

Maybe it has caused them to suck. 

By Michael Luke

 

From December 1 to December 6, many Facebook users decided to use cartoon characters as their profile pictures. This is supposedly done to send a message of condemning violence against children, as if displaying the picture of Son Goku will stop those criminals in real life. Anyway, let us try to see the reason behind posting certain kinds of cartoon characters.

1. The Handsome Good Guy
    (Tamahome, Kenshi Himura, Tuxedo Mask, etc.)

At some point in your miserable life, you’d like to be surrounded by cherry blossom leaves while your eyes sparkle for no apparent reason. 

    They are the good-looking heroes who save the day. In the cartoon world, most of the good guys are handsome while most of the bad guys are ugly.  Cartoons have taught us discrimination and prejudice- if you are handsome, you are going to be good, if you are ugly, you are going to be bad.

  What does it say about you?
  Male- You probably fantasized of being like them in the real world. You dreamed of saving the world, impressing and attracting many girls, and having ideal manly qualities. It means that you are far from that guy.
  Female- You drool over him. You compare every man you meet to him. You are still hoping and wishing that someday you will find a man who embodies him.

2. The Beautiful and Sexy Damsel in Distress
   (Chii, Mulan, Kokoro Chan, etc.)

Somewhere….some fanboy wishes he looks like her.

    

They are the leading ladies of the handsome good guys. Some of them have powers, some of them don’t. Nevertheless, they always invite trouble, and they always need to be saved by their handsome hero boyfriends. Imagine a girlfriend who always causes you trouble and burden. They are liabilities. Perhaps that is why they are beautiful and sexy, so that their partners can look past the burden and the trouble, which means that those heroes are only after getting under their skirts.

  Male - You had/still have sexual fantasies about them. You are probably wishing they exist in real life.
  Female - You want to be like her so that you can get the handsome good guy. See Number 1.

3. Strong and Powerful Characters
  (Wolverine, Superman, Batman, etc.)

Taong grasa look. 

 

They are not necessarily good looking, but they have extraordinary strength and/or abilities.

  Male - You have these delusions that having extraordinary strength/abilities will make you 10x more attractive.
  Female - Why are you posting this as your profile pic? Guys are not interested in women who are stronger and/or more talented than they are.

4. Funny Characters
  (Mr. Bean, Lupin III, Hanamichi, etc.)

Looks like a monkey…acts like a monkey… 

  

 They make you laugh by doing stupid things or by saying something funny and witty. They also look funny.

  Male- You want to project that you are a man with a good sense of humor…because you don’t have the looks.
  Female - You want to project that you are a woman who appreciates a good sense of humor….because you don’t have the looks.

5. Safe Characters
 (Scooby Doo, Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, etc.)

Talking inanimate objects are safe characters…..riiiiiiight! 

   Characters such as animals, robots, or aliens.

  Male and Female - You want to play it safe. You posted a safe character so that no one will think about the reason why you posted this character. Hence no one will judge you.

6. No cartoon picture

  You were able to see past the hype, the fad, and the pressure. You know that displaying a cartoon picture doesn’t have anything to do with stopping violence against children.

 

 Or you just don’t give a damn….or you just don’t know any cartoon character because you were too busy getting beaten by some adult. 
  
  

We at LamatFiles condemn any sort of violence!

Well, here goes a project formed for the sake of creating something entertaining and something that tickles the innermost and most remote part of your brain. Well at least that’s what we, here at LamatFiles, will try to do.

Narito kayo ngayon sa LamatFiles hindi lang dahil pinilit kayo ng kaibigan niyo na tignan ito, ngunit gusto niyo rin makalimot sa mga problema ninyo. Pinagalitan kayo ng boss niyo? Magbasa kayo ng LamatFiles at baka may article kung paano kayo makakaganti ng hindi nasisisanti! Nakipaghiwalay ka sa kasintahan mo? May nakita kang walang kwentang commercial? Lahat ng bagay mong maisip pwede mong bigyan ng pansin dito. Kababawan man matatawag ito parin ay katotohan at realidad na nasa sa atin. Pagtawanan natin ang lahat!

Masama man pakinggan maganda ang aming harangin: Pahalakhakin kayo habang namumulat ang inyong tulog na isipan!

Ngunit kung hindi man kayo matawa pipilitin parin naming maglagay ng lamat sa inyong mga bibig…at yun mga kaibigan ay ngiti!

Lahat tayo dapat may lamat!

Rod Manden.

   Lamat? Parang alam ko na to ah. Ito ba ang Tagalog version ng Cracked.com? Mga Pilipino talaga, puro pangongopya lang ang alam!

   Malamang naisip ninyo ang mga katagang ito nang buksan ninyo ang lamatfiles.tumblr.com. Hindi namin itinatangi na nakuha namin ang konsepto na ito mula sa cracked.com, isang English website. Ngunit, tandaan natin na ang cracked.com ay naka-focus sa buhay at kulturang Amerikano. Sinusuri nila (at nilalait) ang mga napapansin nila sa kanilang araw araw na pamumuhay, sa kultura nila, at sa mga bagay na nakapaligid sa kanila. Sa panunuri (at panlalait) nila, naipapakita nila na maraming nakakabighaning ideya at pananaw ang nagmumula sa kultura at pamumuhay sa Amerika.

   Hindi lang sa Amerika nakukuha ang mga makukulay at nakakabighaning ideya. Gamit ng masusing panunuri (at panlalait), marami din tayong mapupulot mula sa ating pamumuhay at kultura, pati na rin sa mga bagay na nakapaligid sa atin. Makulay ang buhay at kulturang Pilipino. At bilang founders ng website na ito, layunin naming magbigay impormasyon sa inyo at enganyuhin kayong manuri sa mga sitwasyon na napapansin ninyo sa inyong araw-araw na buhay. Tinawag naming LAMAT ang website na ito hindi lang dahil gusto naming gawan ng Tagalog version ang Cracked. Sa paaralan at trabaho, tayo ay sinanay na magisip ng pulido at matuwid, ang magisip ng walang lamat. Alam na natin kung ano ang kakalabasan ng ganung pagiisip. Sasabihin sayo “very good”, o kaya bibigyan ka ng mataas na marka o kaya evaluation. Boring. Bakit hindi natin subukang magisip nang walang inaalalang reaksyon mula sa ating guro, propesor, o kaya boss. At gamit ang malayang pagiisip na ito, makikita natin na ang lamat ng buhay ay siya ring nagbibigay buhay sa ating buhay.

Mabuhay ang buhay Pilipino!

Michael Luke